It's been a long day - so I don't know about you, but I could really go for a laugh. These got me smiling...
From a Facebook friend:
A very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Texas one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' (means 'getting ready to' in Texas) to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump...think of your dear mother and father."
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well, remember the Alamo..."
He replied, ''What's the Alamo?''
She replied, ''Well, bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee!''
And how about this one-liner:
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Ahhh, got to love Chuck Norris Facts.