Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Reaching The Depths and Heights of Manliness in 2 Hours

First, how low can a guy go?

I was tagging along with Shira at her salon, and when she was done, she physically dragged me over to Anita who specializes in threading. And what is threading you ask? It's a hair removal process women have to endure to look their best. For oh, about the last 15 years or so, Shira's been nagging me to get my eyebrows tamed. She has a dream that I'll get them threaded and they will look Brad-Pitt-Perfect. With the my brother's wedding coming up, many reminders about how open minded I'm supposed to be, and a bit of physical persuasion, she managed to get me to sit down in Anita's chair.

Before I knew it, I was getting threaded. The process consists of her using a piece of thread to grasp a few of my precious eyebrows and then she rips them out. It alternates between being uncomfortable to being downright painful. I've now got more empathy than ever for women who do this on a regular basis.

The whole process took about 5 minutes, though it felt like about an hour.

And here's the before and after shots:

Holy crap - I now have perfect, robotic, movie star grade eyebrows. Freaky, right?

At this point, I've pretty much handed over my manhood to Anita (who was quite nice and assured me that she works with men all the time. Yeah, that was sweet of her to say). And I'm confident enough in my manhood to be OK with that.

And then we went to Krav Maga class where I earned back some serious man points. Besides doing important man stuff like sweating and punching, we finished off the class by completing what our instructor called a Sierra 100. That's 100 burpees, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups and 100 squats. I'm glad none of you were there to see me actually perform this feat, as I'm sure I looked like some sort of wounded / dying animal. But I can proudly say that I managed to at least eek out every required rep (though some of my pushups were especially pathetic).

So here I sit, my arms are sore and my eyebrows are perfect. What more can a modern man ask for?

2 comments:

  1. I honestly see no difference at all between the two photos, aside from the camera orientation, distance from subject, etc. Do you really see a difference in the eyebrows, or were you just saying that because that's what Shira wanted you to say?

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  2. > Do you really see a difference in the eyebrows, or were you just saying that because that's what Shira wanted you to say?

    You're right, the before and after pictures really don't tell the story well (unless you know what you're looking for).

    But, in person, you really could tell a difference. I'm telling you, there were like freaky robotic perfect.

    Actually, the lack of difference in before and after pics is kind of the point. She wasn't trying to massively change how I look, just make my eyebrows look more organized. This isn't something I knew I needed or wanted. But, that was apparently what she was going after.

    How did I just write all of the above about eyebrow threading. Ugh. I better go do some burpees to make up for it.

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