Saturday, December 29, 2007

Where Not To Hang Out In The Mall

You'd think the intimates department would be the ideal place for a guy to hang out in the Mall. After all, there are posters of underwear models plastered all over the walls.

And yet, you'd be completely wrong.

When you step into the bra and panty section, any woman within a two mile radius is thinking the same thing: sicko.

Here I am minding my own business, and I just know that women think that I'm a sleaze, who has nothing but trashy thoughts on my mind. When of course, the only thing on my mind is: "She better not abandon me" - as the only thing worse than being caught in the intimates department is being caught alone.

At least with Shira next to me, I can give off the "help me, I'm trapped here with my wife" vibe.

We've since moved onto the petite business suit section. While this isn't as ideal a place to hang out as, say, the tool department at Sears, it is way above the skivvies department.

Oh, and apparently Macy's has taken my advice and setup a half way comfortable waiting area for guys, including a 14" television with a basketball game on it. If they tossed in a Play Station, and didn't fill up the waiting area with racks of clothes, I'd be really impressed.



  1. Hehe yeah, I think we all know that feeling. I feel a little funny even walking through that section in Target, when the main aisles are too full of slow people, and I'm in a hurry. What would be weirder, still, would be actually BUYING that stuff, without your wife along with you. I've never done that, and probably never will. Seems like a perfectly legitimate thing to do, but I would totally feel like a dirty old man searching through a rack of panties for the right size, and then checking out. :)

    I was even slightly paranoid when buying some tights for my little girl. Felt a little creepy, browsing and buying them by myself. But she needed them for her dance class!

  2. Anonymous5:09 PM

    Ben, I think the fact that you were taking pictures in that section was why you got the strange looks :)

    Hope you are well.

    Anthony (former Search Guru from Innovectra)