Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Caption Me

I'll start...

>> Looks like our batch of Tech Company Fuel is in...


Update: Make sure to check out Dave's comment, it's hilarious. I guess fake press releases fit well with my fake news obsession.


  1. PURCHASE, N.Y. - September 20, 2007 - Today, PepsiCo, Inc. [NYSE:PEP], (parent company of Pepsi, Frito-Lay, Tropicana ,Gatorade and Quaker), unveiled* the ÜberCUBE -- a bold new take on the existing "CUBE". The regular CUBE holds 24 cans in two rows of cans: 4 cans wide by 3 cans deep. The new ÜberCUBE, in contrast, holds a whopping four dozen cans, in four rows: 2 cans wide by 6 cans deep.

    The new packaging is targeted primarily toward value-conscious consumers, who drink between 4-12 soft drinks per day. Consumer focus groups showed strong interest in packaging that holds more cans, with an associated lower per-can cost. Demographic information showed that these consumers were primarily college students and employees of technology startups.

    Initial design proposals included a shape resembling more of a true cube (the length, width, and height were all about equal), but 99.3% of those surveyed complained that the 83-pound box was just too heavy. The box consisted of six rows: 3 cans wide by 6 cans deep, for a total of 108 cans!

    The 48-can version of the Mountain Dew ÜberCUBE will debut this fall, in most major grocery stores and mass merchants.

    * They didn't really. This is a fake press release, for geek humor purposes only. Please don't sue Ben, PepsiCo! But please *do* send Ben (and spugbrap) coupons for free Pepsi products!

  2. Anonymous9:57 PM

    Someone drank all the Coke Zero. Us old out-of-shape guys need that. I'm hoping there's another can. Me on Mountain Dew is like having Bobcat Goldwaith wired on coke in your living room.