Friday, January 06, 2006

Midbook review: To the Ends of the Earth, by Elizabeth Lowel

The other day I was in a very big hurry to rent a book on tape from the library - and picked a novel a bit too hastily. I ended up renting Elizabeth Lowell's: To The Ends Of The Earth.

In my haste, all I saw was that the story involved a ship designer and a photographer, and seemed like some sort of adventure. Things started off with a pretty basic prolog - nothing too bad.

However, once the story started I quickly got suspicous. I then checked the book on tape box again - and there it was in 24 point script font: A Contemporary Love Story (or something to that effect).

Suddenly it hit me - I had rented a trashy love story novel. Ooops. For the next four chapters I've been putting up with a tall, muscular stranger, with angled lines and a savage, yet suductive manor - getting to know an ellusive, curvatious, independent, strong willed, sexy-legged woman.

In the first scene the boy not only resucues the girl, but litterly carries her off to his multi-million dollar home by the sea, where they promptly jump into the hot tub (with clothes on - minus his shirt, of course).

I'd laugh, but it's too hard to do while nearly gagging from over-cheesification. Yes, the book is that bad.

Yet I'm hoping to make it all the way through. I have this unwritten rule (or is it now written?) that says that I listen to a full book I rent - no matter how bad it is. Though, I must admit I've broken that rule a time or two.

So my plan is to suffer through this book, with all it's flowery dialog and shallow plot. I'm also hoping to learn a thing or two. So far I've learned that...

(1) Really independent women love to have control taken away from them by even more indepdent men.

(2) The nape of the neck is an incredibly sensual part of the body and deserves a good 5 minutes of writing about it.

(3) Women like to be picked up and carried places. This is especially true if you don't ask their permission.

(4) When you offend a woman and she demands you leave, that's your signal to stay and kiss her.

Wish me luck on this one, it isn't going to be easy.


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